Over the years, we have found that everyone needs a little boost now and then. For us, these "keys" have provided that little something extra for our Dialogue when we have needed it the most.

Maybe it will help you or someone you know who is struggling with it. As with everything else on this Website, please feel free to pass it along.

These are the keys for a successful Dialogue:

• Write and dialogue in "prime time" when you are alert and responsive.
• Concentrate on your spouse by eliminating distractions when you write and when you dialogue.
• Dialogue is for the sharing of feelings. Avoid the temptation to solve problems or reach a decision during dialogue.
• Don't worry about your grammar or spelling. Just share yourself!
• Share your now feelings. Avoid "garbage dumping" (bringing up old hurts).
• Share about yourself using "I" or "me" messages, and avoid "you" messages.
• What your spouse wrote, not how much they wrote, is what is important.
• Dialogue is the time for loving acceptance, not for critical judgments or blaming (i.e. "you made me..." or "you didn’t...").
• Listen actively while your spouse is sharing. Pay attention to their non-verbal signals.
• Sharing your feelings is a gift to your spouse. Don't expect your spouse to change because you shared your feelings.
• Spending the full dialogue time talking about and continuing to draw out and explore the feeling about which you have written.